Need a gift idea that goes beyond the usual cycling-themed tat? If the answer is 'yes' and you've got a spare £225 knocking around, then Lance Armstrong has you covered...
Via the website Cameo, celebrities will brighten up your special occasion with a personalised video message. Think Happy Birthday sung by Snoop Dogg, or a pre-match motivational speech from Michael Buffer.
We went down a Cameo rabbit hole and were pleased to find more than a few famous names from the cycling world willing to lighten your wallet in return for a shout-out.
Love him or hate him, Lance Armstrong is the headline act here. Before you wince at the £225 asking price, wait until you've heard how much Lachlan Morton charges. Lance's videos seem to go down well, the Texan can boast a strong 4.8 star rating from 42 reviews and typically responds to requests within four days.
In his portfolio of messages there are birthday celebrations and pep talks, including one slightly awkward video to someone working at Oprah Magazine: "I understand you're an incredible team member at Oprah Magazine. Oprah...my girl... I'm sure we could share a few stories about O", says Armstrong.
Valentine's Day is coming up fast, that's all I'm saying. Who wouldn't want Lance telling them how much they mean to somebody?
A message from EF Education–Nippo's endurance racing star, Lachlan Morton, will set you back an eye-watering £750. That's right, £750. Presumably for that sort of money he sings Happy Birthday on repeat for seven hours while breaking the Everesting record.
Despite Lance and Lachlan's premium rates, there are bargains to be had. Cofidis' new signing Simon Geschke for the frugal fee of £11.25, for example. Or perhaps you want a five-time Monument winner for £37.50? If there was a road.cc 'Cameo of the Year' award, Philippe Gilbert would be taking it home.
He even offers a chat service for £2.24. Less than the price of a cup of coffee to give Phil tips on how to win Milan-San Remo. Other notable cycling Cameoers include: Gianni Moscon (£22.50), Michael Valgren (£37.50) and Phil Gaimon (£75).
It's worth giving Ineos Grenadiers' Owain Doull some credit too for donating the money people paid for his videos to the Noah's Ark Children's Hospital in Cardiff.
Compared to other sports, cycling hasn't been flooded with quite as many current riders and ex-pros. The football section of the site seemingly includes just about every notable player from the past 30 years, ranging from Micky Quinn for £20 through to Roberto Carlos for £150.
Carlton Kirby, Sir Brad, Cav... what are you waiting for?