While I can't promise this is the last April Fools content on the blog today, we should be moving on to some proper news after lunch...First, meet the monospoke, a 52mm deep rim wheel with a single spoke. Coming in at just 1003g for the pair, the rim brake, tubeless ready wheel has all the aero properties to rival disc brake models and all the stiffness you could ever need. They're not cheap at $1888 but you'll be promptly refunded as they don't actually exist....Just the thing for riding around the new velodrome in Regent's Park...
The big news keeps coming this morning. This time it's a world record breaker from Schindelhauer with 252 gears. The custom model from Berlin-based bicycle manufacturer has a record 3350% gear ratio made possible by a 14-speed Rohloff Speedhub gear with 526% spread. At a relaxed cadence of 60rpm the top speed is 84.4km/h but has broken the 126km/h mark...
Head of Design and co-founder at Schindelhauer Stephen Zehren said: "In the development team, we always wanted to build a bike that has the right gear for every situation. Finally, we can make our community in the UK happy, who can now tackle the Hardknott Pass in the Lake District in Yorkshire (gradient up to 33%) in a relaxed manner.
"In addition, we are already setting the mobility trends of tomorrow by creating new incentives to switch to cycling, especially for commuters. On rural and federal roads, they are literally on a par with car drivers and no longer have to put up with overtaking manoeuvres. I even dare to predict that many of our customers will checkmate their four-wheeled colleagues with Wilhelm CCLII."
Another incredible announcement saved for April 1...SmartDisc Technology takes the innovative step of allowing a rider to add or remove a second front disc brake to the bike for when your route requires extra braking power. Designed in collaboration with Team UAE Emirates and Colnago, the SmartDisc will feature on the new V3RS DV (Double Ventoux) model and should come into its own at the Tour de France on the double ascent of the legendary mountain where riders will reach frightening speeds on the downhill. The logical choice, Campag says, is "to add a second front disc brake for incredible braking power".
"We’ve invested years of research into improving performance on the climbs and in TTs but perhaps we’ve been missing the bigger picture," they continued. "We’ve always neglected the downhills, where bigger time gaps are possible nowadays. So we’ve worked hard all winter with Colnago and Team UAE Emirates, both on the road and in the lab. The result: the groundbreaking SmartDisc Technology that we are pleased to present today."
Campagnolo changing the game forever...Now check the date.
British Cycling can today announce that the inaugural @HSBC_UK | National Supertuck Championships 🇬🇧 will take place on the 31st June 2021 🗓#NatSupertuckChamps
🔴⚪️🔵 pic.twitter.com/lVWrC0Msuo
— British Cycling (@BritishCycling) April 1, 2021
Here we go...It's the big one, forget the Tour de France, there's a new king in town. In a huge bit of news, conveniently released on April 1, British Cycling are up for some UCI rulebreaking. We imagine all the British riders will exit the Tour after its first week to race at this prestigious event...The early market from the bookies has Chris Froome favourite...
NEWS: Council opens ‘wand’ shop on High Street Kensington to recoup cost of scrapped cycle tracks https://t.co/ZO3aKGkCzSpic.twitter.com/ga5qffbeIo
— London Cycling Campaign (@London_Cycling) April 1, 2021
A scheme to ban bikes and pedestrians and make more space for cars? 🚘🚳
We've obtained leaked proposals for new 'High Traffic Neighbourhoods', which are to be designated in towns and cities across the country.
Read the story: 📄 https://t.co/gNDwajmoZDpic.twitter.com/0XbLz8zj2P
— Cycling UK (@WeAreCyclingUK) April 1, 2021
This is all fun and games until it turns up as a genuine suggestion from a local councillor in a few months' time...Cycling UK has put some very believable details in this one. The high traffic neighbourhoods will give "cars total priority over other road users. The HTN scheme is believed to be a reaction to complaints in the media about pop-up traffic lanes and Low Traffic Neighbourhoods (LTNs), which aim to encourage cycling and walking by taking back space from motor vehicles."
We're talking: removal of grass verges and footways to allow an extra lane of traffic, at least 30 per cent of urban parkland to be paved for parking, abolition of 20mph speed limits with 30mph limit to be "reviewed" and best of all...
Fines for cyclists in HTNs, and for pedestrians unless they can demonstrate they are on the way to or from their vehicle...Brilliant.
Exciting news from the @theroyalparks about the traffic free Regent’s Park and Outer Circle velodrome proposals. What a fantastic #cycling resource for London. @RPcyclists@BritishCycling@cyclingweekly@Cyclingnewsfeed@HamandHigh@HerneHillVel@IsopenLondonpic.twitter.com/Zcx2Fr6wbQ
— Islington Cycling Club (@IslingtonCC) April 1, 2021
That's a strong start to April Fools' Day from Islington CC. 9/10. The MailOnline story is a really nice touch. Perhaps 'Outrage as Royal Park stolen by Lycra louts riding 17 abreast on taxpayer-funded velodrome' might be more believable. Plenty of love for the edited banking on the bends too. Great work Islington CC...
Top work @IslingtonCC, hope your social media manager has plenty of coffee today... https://t.co/JePfjBbLzA
— The Royal Parks (@theroyalparks) April 1, 2021
First thing this morning it got me. For 5 seconds I got excited. Nice one whoever thought of this
— stealfwayne (@stealfwayne) April 1, 2021