Are you sick of being decked out head-to-toe in Rapha and Le Col while out on the club run?
Does your cycling style revolve around a love for flaky bakery goods and early nineties pro racing chic?
Do you want a pair of cycling shorts that don’t actually offer the basic functions of cycling shorts?
Well, you’re in luck – because Greggs, after presumably realising that selling vegan sausage rolls on every street in the UK wasn’t enough to achieve world domination, have launched their second fashion collection in collaboration with Primark.
The funky range includes bucket hats, crocs, vest tops (for all your festival-going needs), and of course, the rather cool ‘bike’ shorts.
As someone who owns cycling clothing from Italian football club Atalanta BC and pioneering German electronic band Kraftwerk, I have to say, I’m pretty tempted…
It’s all kicking off on stage three of the Tour de France Femmes, with attacks from Ellen van Dijk and Marianne Vos (who else?) splitting the peloton on the way to Épernay.
It’s just a pity we can’t see it yet…
If ever there was a good argument for full coverage, this is it: pic.twitter.com/Lhb3N1Kll4
— Claus Jensen (@cj_42_) July 26, 2022
I appreciate we are spoiled with men's grand tour and classics coverage from km0 but I am tearing my hair out not being able to watch this stage of the #TDFF is sounds SO GOOD 😅 Counting down the minutes until I can #WatchTheFemmes
— Katy M - Tour mode 🇫🇷💛 (@writebikerepeat) July 26, 2022
Unlike the wall-to-wall, from the gun coverage of the men’s race, the women’s Tour is limited to two and a half hours of live TV every day – which, to be fair, is a significant improvement on previous televisual attitudes towards the women’s side of the sport (looking at you, last year’s Giro Donne).
So, for the first hour or so of every stage, we’ll just have to revert to the old-school method of constantly refreshing the live ticker.
Not long to wait now, though…
Always knew @TamauPogi was a big fan 🤣 Loving the gilet’s journey at #TDFF If you’re at the finish today and want to take it onwards let me know 👌 #wheresGsgilet#Glayrelaypic.twitter.com/URHEHQxTHj
— Geraint Thomas (@GeraintThomas86) July 26, 2022
With cycling’s most famous body warmer now making its way along the Tour de France Femmes route, it was able to take time out of its busy schedule before yesterday’s stage to pose for a photo with BikeExchange-Jayco’s Urška Žigart and her fiancé, who you may recognise from the last three weeks.
2022 Tour runner-up Tadej Pogačar is following Žigart during the first few stages of the relaunched women’s race, before he’s dragged away by the prospect of post-Tour appearance fees and sponsor obligations. But he says he’ll be back to watch the final two decisive stages in the Vosges in person.
“I'm super proud and happy that she's at the biggest race of women’s cycling,” the two-time Tour winner said of his fiancée before the start of yesterday’s stage.
“I hope Urška can win,” he told Cycling Weekly. “I hope she can shine on Saturday or Sunday. They are two good stages for her and I can’t wait to see her race and support her.
“I love to watch women's cycling. It's more complicated than men's cycling and more interesting. There’s more attacking, you never know what's going to happen and I think it makes it really, really fun to watch.”
Bringing an end to the so-called ‘culture war’ between cyclists and motorists is key to securing a long-term shift in travelling habits in the UK.
That’s the view of Chris Boardman, the former Olympic champion and Hour Record holder who now heads up Active Travel England, the governmental body tasked with implementing the Gear Change strategy and delivering a new “golden age of walking and cycling”.
Boardman told parliamentary publication The House this week that he is frustrated with the seemingly constant ‘culture war’ refrain that he feels surrounds cycling in the UK.
“I’m trying to stop it being a culture war,” he says. “It’s packaged as a war but it’s two percent of people against 98 percent of road users. It’s not really much of a war, is it?
“We’re not different tribes. I want to see normal people in normal clothes, doing normal things – just doing it less with cars.”
Boardman believes that raising the standards of active travel infrastructure in the country – and likewise, challenging any failures – is needed to “genuinely create behaviour change”.
He continued: “We won’t build anything that isn’t usable for a competent 12-year-old, and to give their parents the confidence to let them use it. If you don’t meet that standard [as a council], then you don’t get funded.
“That encourages councils who aren’t doing much, as local residents tend to go ‘where is ours?’ And then it becomes positive political pressure for change.”
> Chris Boardman heads newly-launched government body Active Travel England
However, Boardman is well aware that there has been a small but vocal opposition to recent active travel schemes, including the implementation of Low Traffic Neighbourhoods.
“There’s no such thing as a low-traffic neighbourhood, because it’s not a neighbourhood if it’s full of traffic running through it,” he points out.
“Saying ‘LTNs: are they good or bad?’ is like saying ‘roads: are they good or bad?’ If we had one bad road, should we stop doing all roads?
“The overwhelming and consistent evidence is that the vast majority of people support [the concept of LTNs]. We’re just ignoring the silent majority.”
While Boardman recognises that the rapid growth in cycling during the Covid pandemic – “People went out on bikes, and they did it in their droves. And they liked it” – is beginning to wane as road users return to old habits, he insists that a two-wheeled revolution is still occurring “in patches”.
The three-time Tour de France stage winner reckons his greatest triumph would be to be out of a job in ten years’ time.
“Success would be that there is no Active Travel England. You make this into genuine culture change,” he says.
I sense a pattern emerging on the live blog this morning…
The resurfacing of #LimeStreet is now complete - and doesn’t it look fantastic. Thank you for your patience.
The road is open from 6am tomorrow.
Enjoy your new cycle lane! 🚲 pic.twitter.com/O6IdI355cy
— Joanne Anderson (@MayorLpool) July 22, 2022
On Friday, Liverpool’s mayor Joanne Anderson announced that work was set to be completed on the much-anticipated cycle lane on Lime Street.
However, this was the sight which greeted commuters this morning:
I see the new cycle infrastructure on Lime Street is being well used. 🙄 pic.twitter.com/L0P52xZ51x
— Marianne (@marianneheaslip) July 26, 2022
While most of the cars appear to belong to contractors finishing up work on the bike lane and installing traffic lights further on up the road, it’s still not the best look…
They'll only be a minute.
— Wes (@Frailerpark) July 26, 2022
Meanwhile, in London:
Lots of glass on #C9 at #HammersmithBroadway just now. Plse sweep @LBHFpic.twitter.com/suQsxsZxlg
— Ruth Mayorcas (@RuthMayorcas) July 26, 2022
Perhaps those Bullshire bike ditches weren’t the worst idea after all…
Speaking of cycle lanes, here’s a classic of the genre:
“Why don’t cyclists use the amazing new £2million bike lane?!” /via @NoContextBritspic.twitter.com/67DvXr8jHc
— Wandering Woodsman 🚴🔥🌍 (@philsturgeon) July 25, 2022
Home sweet home. pic.twitter.com/KoP3u0a3dr
— Mikkel Condé v2.0 (@mrconde) July 25, 2022
I thought I’d kick off Tuesday with something a bit light-hearted and jovial… Or not.
Over the weekend, the satirical police force of Bullshire reminded cyclists that “it is mandatory for them to use the designated cycle ditches” around the fictional town.
With a tone strikingly similar to the real-life Met Officer who, when dealing with a cyclist who had just avoided a collision with a red-light jumping taxi driver, pointed out the apparent law-breaking tendencies of cyclists, Bullshire Police’s Chief Constable Sir Mason Lodge said that his officers “will be taking robust action against any cyclist caught flouting the law” by not riding in the new bike ditches.
He continued: “The law is there for a very good reason. Under no circumstances should car drivers and other superior road users’ progress be impeded by cyclists.”
This isn’t the first time Bullshire Police have tackled pressing road safety issues. Back in 2017, they took on the Highway Code:
Cyclists: Are you aware of Rule 1 of the #Bullshire Highway Code for Cyclists? pic.twitter.com/mzLXQZQNzv
— Bullshire Police (@BullshirePolice) July 26, 2017
While this weekend’s parody post had a little something for everyone – Cyclists wear ridiculous clothing! Motorists think they’re above the law just because they drive cars! – some Facebook-using drivers (says it all really) took it all a bit too seriously.
“Oh if only, this would be a dream come true,” wrote one, while another described Bullshire’s cycle ditches as “where they deserve to be”.
Some didn’t even bother with the point of the post, and just used it as yet another stick with which to beat people riding bikes.
“If cyclists had a form of ID/reg plate and compulsory insurance their behaviour would improve immensely,” said one user, frantically scribbling on her anti-cycling bingo card as she pressed ‘send’.
Though top points go to the Facebooker who used a post from a parody page to wish violence upon vulnerable road users, writing: “Get run over by a heavy vehicle, that'll show them.”
Delightful.
Over on reddit (it’s been a productive morning), cyclists agreed that Bullshire County Council’s active travel plan actually represented an upgrade on some real-life examples of cycling infrastructure.
“Unrealistic,” said one user. “There are no potholes or fallen trees in the bike lane.”
“And no parked cars too,” wrote another.
“And no smashed bottles.”
“Or road construction signs.”
We could go on…