The live blog will be back same time and place tomorrow, potentially with Shedgate updates, an accurate translation for Wout's cryptic Strava caption and just about anything and everything else bike-related and worth procrastinating from work over...
See you then!
Plenty of Simpsons memes going around in response to this one...
I bet you could sell these in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook pic.twitter.com/5fQa0m0Zn5
— Ryan Burns (@ryanedwardburns) December 20, 2022
— Rendel Harris (@Rendel_Harris) December 21, 2022
If you can't beat 'em, join them...
"Well sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine bona fide..." We will add Springfield to the list! (Big musical number to follow!🎼🎷🪗🥁🎸)
— swyftcities (@swyftcities) December 20, 2022
Doesn't mean I or 90 per cent of the repliers are sold though...
We love bikes (and walking!). Multimodal! Rail for long distances, bikes/walking for short distances, better transportation options for intermediate distances.
— swyftcities (@swyftcities) December 21, 2022
First it was Elon Musk saying he'd send traffic underground, now it's this transport tech company who reckon a network of autonomous gondola pods is the way forward... which is going down as well as you might expect...
Just build bike lanes Jesus fucking Christ https://t.co/CsypwqhShk
— Hannah 🚲😈 (@theeyecollector) December 21, 2022
Founded by former Google employees, Swyft Cities is, the company says, a way to "bring innovative mobility to public and private real estate projects". Selling the gondola dream as modular, sustainable, low cost and efficient (like, I don't know, a bicycle?) Swyft shows computer-generated images of what a network could look like by "freeing up land" and taking journeys to the sky.
Swyft Cities is here to revolutionize transportation and real estate! An innovative gondola system combines autonomous pods w/ lightweight, fixed cable infrastructure to move passengers efficiently w/ significantly lower cost-per-mile & less emissions than traditional options.👇 pic.twitter.com/AlZ6yucOML
— swyftcities (@swyftcities) December 20, 2022
In short, we're seeing a snarled up road below, and pods above. So, how did the good people of cycling Twitter react to this "innovative" transport solution...
Absolutely! We're big believers in multimodal and people having different transportation options depending on use case, distance, etc. Swyft Cities complements busses, bikes, walking & more to reduce congestion, create more livable spaces, etc.
— swyftcities (@swyftcities) December 20, 2022
We help enable denser, more walkable, bikeable, livable neighborhoods Each vehicle is completely autonomous, and takes you directly to any other destination on the system.
— swyftcities (@swyftcities) December 20, 2022
Bike lanes aren't *innovative* enough, everyone knows that! pic.twitter.com/AuNhLRZuHU
— James Lyon (@jameslyon77) December 21, 2022
What if every city had “Bike Buses” for kids going to school & daycare? What if safe, protected bike infrastructure made them easy? From Nijmegen NL, a #BikeBus developed in partnership with an after-school childcare. HT to great folks at @Cycling_Embassypic.twitter.com/xWaFz1gQDu
— Brent Toderian (@BrentToderian) December 21, 2022
Check out who was checking out Roubaix today...
With none other than...
A ride name which apparently cryptically means 'It is a thick device' (according to Google Translate)... anyone with even the slightest modicum of Dutch-speaking abilities please get yourself in the comments ASAP...
Time for some of your comments on the day's events, starting with Shedgate 2...
hirsute: "I found the bins on the driveway more ugly and out of place than the shed."
EddyBerckx: "The bike shed looks great and you can guarantee that front garden looks neater than most in that road... especially if front 'drives' are allowed."
Let me introduce you to the rest of the street...
HoarseMann: "In the bike shed article on the Salisbury Journal link, in the comments someone has noted that there is a planning officer at the council with the same name as one of the complainants. This complainant refers to council policy 'CP57' in their complaint, which seems to infer a bit of knowledge about the process.
"Then another complainant explains they wouldn't have said anything before they were invited to comment! Does have a slight whiff of some insider knowledge of the planning process. All above board I would guess, even if that was the case.
"As someone else suggests, just plonk a battered caravan there instead."
Literally around the corner...
brooksby: "I can't see what's wrong with that bike shed anyway — looks neat and tidy, and it's way smaller than a parked car."
Elsewhere on the live blog, Sniffer points out "I don't think Tao or Geraint are going to be pleased" about Ineos Grenadier 4x4's new partnership with the other north London lot...
While eburtthebike had some thoughts on the ingenious gondola...
"It may be a tribute to human ingenuity that so many otherwise intelligent people keep re-inventing the wheel with increasingly clever alternatives to the private car, but it's also depressing that they can't see the answer when it's been obvious for so many years. Swyft Cities are merely the latest in a very long line of transport systems looking for a problem to solve, when the solution is right in front of their eyes.
"It's rather like electric cars, they won't solve any of the problems of mass car use and will create serious problems of their own, but try getting the media to mention anything else.
"Buses, trams, cycling, walking, all vastly better solutions than e-cars but are pretty much banned from the media. I listen to quite a bit of Radio 4 and yet again, e-cars featured on You and Yours, for the 3,000,001th* time; I still haven't heard them feature bikes.
"*An exaggeration of course; I added the 1."
The heart wants what it wants 😂 pic.twitter.com/KEnsgEs50R
— Cyclescheme (@cycleschemeltd) December 20, 2022
But what if I need to move a sofa? https://t.co/bYxl4pOjWnpic.twitter.com/VcLKj7FSpQ
— Liveable Melbourne (@liveable_melb) December 20, 2022
Sofa-r so good...
Research from iCompario suggests that millions of Brits have driven home drunk from their work's Christmas party. The concerning figures come as the result of a survey involving 1,000 UK adults who drive and found that 17 per cent of men admitted to drink driving at Christmas, versus six per cent of women.
When extended to the wider population, the survey results suggest, iCompario says, that as many as 4.5 million UK drivers have broken the law by driving under the influence after a Christmas event, while up to 1.6 million (four per cent) have knowingly driven home over the limit after a Christmas party on more than one occasion.
> Drunk driver who crashed into cyclist, breaking his neck, walks free from court
The findings also highlighted that men are much more likely to drink drive at Christmas than women. Almost one in five men have done so, compared to just over one in 20 women (six per cent). One in seven (13 per cent) admitted that whilst they haven’t driven home from a festive do over the legal limit, they have got into the car with someone who was.
So, the supposed Manchester United-supporting billionaire who was confusingly interested in buying Chelsea now pumps money into Tottenham Hotspur through a '4x4 Vehicle Partner' (because every top sports team needs one of them)...
It's almost like Sir Jim Ratcliffe ain't a football fan and cares more about his business' bank balance?! Surely not...
Tottenham Hotspur can today announce a multi-year deal with INEOS Grenadier as its Official 4x4 Vehicle Partner.
Welcome to the Club, @INEOSGrenadier🤝
— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) December 21, 2022
I wouldn't go asking the Ineos boys for any tips on scoring penalties, mind...
It's the shortest day of the year, which is an open invitation to achieve the least possible; an invitation I have readily accepted.
— Ned Boulting (@nedboulting) December 21, 2022
On the plus side we're on the way back to those long summer evenings... just three months of indoor training to go...
The Salisbury Journal reports a resident has been ordered to dismantle his "beautiful bespoke wooden bike shed" following complaints from neighbours and an unsuccessful planning application.
Nick Arnold told the Journal, who have pictures of the shed in their coverage, he built the £2,000 shed "in good faith" as he had "nowhere to store our bikes" but now will be forced to "pay someone to dismantle it".
The city council described the structure as "unsightly", with neighbours branding it an "eyesore" and "poorly integrated with the house" during the planning application.
Built by a professional carpenter the shed was, Mr Arnold said, "sustainable and environmentally friendly but we've been told it's not in keeping with the rest of the house".
We've been here before...
While the latest 'shedgate' protagonist doesn't intend to appeal the decision, last May we covered the story of a family from Leicester who were finally granted planning approval for their similar bike storage shed.
That decision came after the story gained widespread coverage and even the Mayor of Leicester expressed support for the family, saying the city council's planning officers "got it wrong".