Remember the old annuals you’d get as a child at Christmas, the ones that would be jampacked with word searches and ‘spot the difference’-style games (and the occasional thought-provoking article, I suppose), designed to keep you entertained while the turkey was in the oven?
Well, it appears that Halfords have capitalised on that festive nostalgia, by treating us all to a pre-Christmas game of ‘Spot the glaring errors in this display bike set-up’:
🤦♂️🤦♂️#Halfrauds. pic.twitter.com/mFET5CsEQg
— Tommy (@Wombletom) December 10, 2023
Spotted them yet? Good.
This, shall we say, interesting set-up (I will refrain from mentioning the shop’s location, to protect the guilty or uninterested) inevitably provoked some festive merriment on the ol’ social media box.
“All the right parts, but not necessarily in the right places,” said Isaac, while our favourite road safety expert Dr Robert Davis asked, “What could possibly go wrong?”
“I fixed a mate’s bike that arrived like that,” added Gordon. “Its handling was, uh, quite exciting. Beyond nimble. I didn’t hurt myself much.”
Meanwhile, while you were all focused on the front fork and suspension, Edouard managed to snag some bonus points:
Bonus points for trapped shifter cable. pic.twitter.com/GTGx3wjbKp
— Edouard Lapaglie (@EDFROG) December 10, 2023
… And Secret Squirrel also twigged that the “crappy cable lock” was unsecured. Excellent spotting skills!
Other less jovial types, however, pointed out that the bike isn’t properly set up and is just there for display purposes, that it can be easily rectified, and so could everybody calm down, please and thank you.
The handle bars don't appear to be locked in place so is it aligned for display and minimal space take up in a car or something? Rotate front wheel 180, lock handlebars into position and sorted? No???
— Roger Diddley (@painstick) December 10, 2023
Though some weren’t as forgiving, with Daneel arguing that “you would never display a bike like this if you knew anything about bikes”.
And some noted the real-world implications of displaying a bike with an inherently problematic set-up, as several Bikeability teachers jumped into the comments, claiming that they see this kind of monstrosity “every week”.
“The number of bikes I've seen like this is quite surprising,” says Richard. “Often it’s the parents having assembled the bikes after ordering online, but to do it in one of their own shops is unforgiveable.”
“Unfortunately this is soooo common,” Bike Futures wrote. “Usually one to three bikes per Dr Bike event.”
“It happens way too often,” The Havering branch of the London Cycling Campaign said. “We think it’s an instore process issue and we've tried to ask Halfords how they think it might be fixed but sadly they don’t seem interested.”
Or maybe we’ve got it all wrong, and Halfords are simply heading back to the 1960s for some design inspiration:
I don't know, if it's ok for this bloke....https://t.co/CllOYLJV37
— Poppyjuice (@Poppyjuice) December 10, 2023
Finally, Canesten summed up the whole thing up: “What the fork are you on about?”
Don’t worry, I wonder the same thing to myself every Monday morning on the live blog…
The suspensions are fairly racking up for Lotto Dstny at the moment, aren’t they?
After their former DS Carl Roes was handed a six-month ban for hitting a race marshal with his team car, the Belgian team’s up-and-coming young rider Maxim Van Gils has been sidelined for 25 days by the UCI for striking rival Georgios Bouglas– with his hands this time – during the sprint for the line at the Japan Cup Criterium in October.
The incident took place just after Lidl-Trek’s Edward Theuns won the sprint finish in Utsunomiya, with TV cameras clearly capturing Van Gils taking his hands off the handlebars to hit 32-year-old Greek pro Bouglas around the back of the head, before turning to berate the Matrix Powertag rider.
The 23-year-old Belgian, who finished second on stage 13 of this year’s Tour de France on the Grand Colombier after impressing during the hilly spring classics, was immediately fined 50 CHF and docked 10 UCI points by the governing body.
> Lotto Dstny pro apologises for hitting rider after reacting to “dangerous behaviour” during sprint
“We sincerely regret the behaviour of our rider Maxim Van Gils in the Japan Cup Criterium. Maxim and the team want to apologise for his gesture at the end of race,” Lotto Dstny said in a statement released shortly after the race.
However, during his own apology, Van Gils claimed that the incident was a reaction to “dangerous behaviour” from Bouglas during the 33km criterium.
Footage of the chaotic sprint finish appears to show the Greek rider taking his hands off the bars to push a Jayco-AlUla rider, who then veers across into Van Gils’ path, almost causing him to crash. However, the 23-year-old accepted that his post-race retaliation was “wrong”.
You don't need to understand Japanese, all that's needed is knowing it's the Japan Cup, and for the 3rd time a win for @EdwardTheuns💪#JCUtsunomiya#JapanCuppic.twitter.com/i8roGrGq1G
— John Maguire 🇺🇦 (@velo_bristol) October 14, 2023
“I deeply regret what I did and I already apologised to the race jury,” Van Gils said in his statement. “They gave me a fine (50 CHF) and I will lose some UCI points.
“The gesture was a reaction on the dangerous behaviour of another rider, but I know that what I did was wrong. It was a reaction in the heat of the moment, but a wrong one and I should not have punched him and kept my hands on the handlebar.
“I accept the penalty of the UCI and I apologise for what I did. This is also an important lesson for the future to keep myself calm in situations like this and to react in a proper way after the race.”
In a statement released this afternoon, the UCI said that Van Gils has also been handed a 25 day suspension for his retaliatory strike, which will come into effect on 20 January, ruling him out of some early season preparation races.
Lotto Dstny, eh? Can’t take them anywhere…
Forget your Coronation Streets and your Hollyoaks, because the professional cycling scene is where you’ll find your most outrageous storylines, petty squabbles, and over-the-top characters this winter.
Because, just when you thought the soap opera narrative had finally died down with the definitive quashing of those Jumbo-Visma/Soudal Quick-Step merger rumours, up steps Visma once again with more off-bike drama over the weekend.
If you haven’t been keeping up with the explosive shenanigans surrounding Cian Uijtdebroeks’ future, grab the popcorn, because here’s a quick run-through of the goss…
On Saturday evening, the Dutch team – who will be known as Visma-Lease a Bike from 1 January – shocked the cycling world by announcing that they had signed the promising 20-year-old grand tour contender Uijtdebroeks on a four-year deal.
NEWS 🗞️
Cian Uijtdebroeks will join our team. The 20-year-old Belgian signs a four-year contract until 2027. 🤝
Welcome, Cian! #cian2027pic.twitter.com/rLbVwqFu3g
— Team Jumbo-Visma cycling (@JumboVismaRoad) December 9, 2023
That piece of news, on the face of it, shouldn’t come as much of a shock. There was clear friction between Uijtdebroeks and his Bora-Hansgrohe teammate Aleksandr Vlasov during the Vuelta, as the pair finished eighth and seventh on GC respectively. And in October the young Belgian added further fuel to the squad harmony fire by publicly criticising the team’s bike set-up and mechanical issues, stating that “it would be nice if my bikes were in order”.
> Pro rider quick to slam Bora-Hansgrohe for "out of order" Specialized TT bikes
So it makes sense that Uijtdebroeks would seek a way out of a team rife with internal tensions, to join Jumbo-Visma – a team, errr, famously rife with internal tensions, publicly played out on the roads of Spain in September. Whatever you think’s best, Cian.
Anyway… After Jumbo-Visma’s transfer announcement, Bora-Hansgrohe immediately hit back on social media denying that any transfer had been agreed, and claimed that the 20-year-old had not signed for the Dutch team, and would be staying with them until the end of his contract in December 2024.
Statement concerning today's news from Jumbo - Visma regarding our rider Cian Uijtdebroeks
Cian is and will remain a member of BORA - hansgrohe, also in the coming 2024 season. He is contractually bound with us until 31 December 2024.
— BORA – hansgrohe (@BORAhansgrohe) December 9, 2023
Uijtdebroeks’ agent then claimed that the rider’s Bora contract had been terminated on 1 December, before he signed with Jumbo-Visma, and that “legal proceedings” had been initiated – while Wielerflits also reported that Bora are seeking around €1 million from the Dutch team to buy out the Belgian rider’s contract.
Visma-Lease a Rider, more like. Geddit?
(Zac Williams/SWpix.com)
Of course, this isn’t the first time that Jumbo-Visma have been involved in a messy, protracted transfer saga. Back in 2018, Wout van Aert ripped up his contract with Nick Nuyens’ Verandas Willems-Crelan team in order to join the yellow and black outfit, a decision that ultimately resulted in Van Aert being forced to pay his former team manager €662,000 following a three-year legal battle.
And it didn’t take long this weekend for rival team managers to aim a few pop shots at the parties involved in cycling’s latest amateur dramatics production.
Under Jumbo-Visma boss Richard Plugge’s Twitter posts welcoming Uijtdebroeks to the team, Cofidis manager Cédric Vasseur replied: “What is that again for the AIGCP [association of professional teams] president??? You have to respect the rules and resign immediately!!! Get out.”
What is that again for the @AigcpOfficial president ??? You have to respect the rules and resign immediately !!! Get out
— Cédric Vasseur (@cedvasseur) December 9, 2023
Meanwhile, it was no surprise that the ever-outspoken Soudal Quick-Step boss Patrick Lefevere was itching to get involved, first pointing out that Uijtdebroeks and his agent should respect their deal with Bora, and that all three parties need to agree to the move under the UCI’s rules, before then aiming this rather bizarre drive-by social media post in the direction of Bora manager Ralph Denk:
“On 21/1/2021 I met Ralph Denk in Brussels. We agreed to wait to do an offer at Remco Evenepoel until at least end of [March] 31 after I released my riders if I didn’t had a future. [March] 8 he did an written offer to the father of Remco. So please don’t cry now,” the always tactful Lefevere wrote.
On the lighter side of things, it was no surprise to anyone that Intermarché-Circus-Wanty’s social media admin soon got involved:
Statement concerning Cian Uijtdebroeks:
Intermarché-Circus-Wanty is waiting to see how things unfold because we have no idea who Cian will ride for in 2024.
— Intermarché-Circus-Wanty (@IntermarcheCW) December 9, 2023
Classic.
While Chris Froome – enjoying his late-career role as the peloton’s resident wind up merchant – decided to wade into the saga’s murky depths by posting this cheeky photo of an Israel-Premier Tech training camp ride yesterday… complete with a plain black-top (and Bora helmet) sporting Uijtdebroeks chilling at the back:
Good to have Cian Uijtdebroeks join us on the team ride today 🤫🤣🤣🤣 #IPT2024#trainingcamppic.twitter.com/da5p3Cwq3o
— Chris Froome (@chrisfroome) December 10, 2023
“Good to have Cian Uijtdebroeks join us on the team ride today,” Froome wrote, sitting back in his armchair, cigar in hand, chuckling to himself (I assume).
Oh, the transfer drama – who says cycling can’t be like football? I for one can’t wait for Jim White to appear outside the Jumbo-Visma hotel during their training camp next week…
Even New Yorkers understand you don't necessarily need an oversized SUV to carry large things! 👌#CarryShitOlympicspic.twitter.com/RSvGaahHYx
— De Filmende Fietser (@FilmendeFietser) December 11, 2023
> I borrowed a cargo bike to get a chest of drawers across London – and it was great fun
The UCI has suspended former Lotto Dstny sports director Carl Roes for six months, following a shocking incident at the GP Rik Van Looy in September, which saw Roes knock a race marshal to the ground with his team car as he attempted to rejoin the race route behind the peloton.
In footage captured by a spectator at the side of the road and shared by RTV’s YouTube channel, a marshal can be seen attempting to temporarily prevent Roes – who was off-course as the video begins – from rejoining the race convoy as it emerges from a junction.
However, rather than waiting, Roes then drove into the marshal, knocking him to the ground, before speeding off.
The incident was reported immediately after the Belgian race, with both the team and the sports director apologising to the marshal involved.
Lotto Dstny also suspended Roes, who later resigned from his position as a DS at the Belgian squad’s development team.
“This is a very unfortunate and unacceptable incident,” the Lotto Dstny CEO Stéphane Heulot said at the time. “As soon as we heard this news we suspended the team leader. There is no excuse for such behaviour, it simply should not happen in a race. We would also like to express our apologies to the signalman and the organisation.
“Carl realises that he has made a mistake. He already spoke to the signalman and apologised. We take this matter very seriously and are now considering further measures. Until then, Carl will no longer take action.”
And now, the UCI has slapped the 55-year-old with a six-month ban from the sport, which will start on 20 January 2024.
“Upon returning to the course from a deviation, Carl Roes, Sport Director and driver of the Lotto Dstny Development Team, ignored the instructions of a race marshal, manoeuvred around him, and pushed him to the ground,” the governing body said in a statement.
“The safety of riders, people in the race convoy, and along the roadside is a priority for the UCI. It therefore cannot tolerate conduct that compromises safety at competitions on its International Calendar and reminds all its stakeholders of the need to comply with its regulations or face disciplinary action.”
A motorcyclist has been jailed after admitting to using cannabis before causing a horrible collision which left a female cyclist needing her leg amputated.
Samuel James was jailed for three and a half years at Basildon Crown Court on Friday, which heard that the 29-year-old motorcyclist had “never passed a driving test, had no insurance, and was travelling with fake plates”.
This afternoon Strava announced the appointment of Michael Martin, a veteran tech, media, and retail executive with three decades of experience working for the likes of Nike, Disney, and Google, as the company’s new CEO, following an almost year-long search that commenced in the wake of co-founder Michael Horvath’s decision to step down in February.
The search for Horvath’s successor began just weeks after the popular ride-tracking app was heavily criticised by its users over a controversial subscription price hike of almost 30 percent, which forced the company to insist that its intention “was not to hide these pricing changes”.
> Strava apologises for price hike controversy
Meanwhile, Martin’s appointment comes hot on the heels of Strava launching a new in-app messaging feature.
“I’m thrilled to join Strava,” Martin, who will join Strava’s board of directors on 2 January after leaving his current role as the general manager of YouTube Shopping, said in a statement today.
“My experience has shown me that motivating people to become more active is a massive and universal challenge. I am in awe of what Michael, Mark, and the Strava team have built. As a member of the Strava community, it is a dream to join this company and have the opportunity to take it to the next level in service of athletes everywhere.”
> Strava introduces messaging - you can now communicate with your friends on the app
Hovarth, who co-founded Strava 15 years ago alongside Mark Gainey, added: “I am incredibly proud of what the Strava team has accomplished, especially during the past four years during which we built our subscription with the needs of our community in mind and strengthened our foundation for future growth.
“In Michael Martin, I am confident we found a leader I can pass the baton to and who can build Strava’s momentum even further. I look forward to supporting him as Executive Advisor to the CEO.”
It’s new kit season (un unhinged corner of the cycling internet throws their beers in the air in celebration) and – apparently for 2024 – that means only one thing: pro cyclists posing like they’re starring in a late-era Take That music video.
First up was Tadej Pogačar and Tim Wellens – the Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow of cycling, some might say – and their ‘experimental third album’ photo shoot, as UAE Team Emirates unveiled a very white new look for next season (perhaps to make Tadej feel a bit better about no longer being eligible for the young rider’s jersey at the Tour, after 42 consecutive victories?)…
Then Bahrain-Victorious opted for a more S Club 7 vibe:
🙌 If you are looking for an album cover, hit us up!#RideAsOne#rideforGinopic.twitter.com/bJAwx02CtG
— Team Bahrain Victorious (@BHRVictorious) December 10, 2023
I’m not sure who’s inflicted more damage on the planet: UAE and Bahrain’s sportswashing activities, or Simon Cowell and Stock Aitken Waterman?
Actually, on second thought, probably best not answer that…
I’d always assumed it was because I’m terribly unfit, but apparently not. Although my definition of ‘hard sprint effort’ may be somewhat to different to most cyclists’, I suppose…
Anyway, what better way to spend your lunch than thinking about vomit?
> Pass the sick bag! Why do hard sprint efforts on the bike make you want to vomit?
Cycle hire provider Nextbike has pulled out of Cardiff for good after 3,000 bikes were stolen or vandalised since the scheme was introduced in 2018.
The company said the rate of vandalism this year had made it “unfeasible” to continue to offer a “good service”.
The scheme in Cardiff and Vale of Glamorgan has been Nextbike’s most successful across the UK in terms of usage, boasting two million rentals in both counties over the last five years.
However, the news that the South Wales scheme – which was originally contracted to end in 2025 – will judder to a premature halt in January comes almost exactly two years after the hire bikes were initially removed from the region as part of a two-month suspension while damaged bikes were repaired.
> Nextbike resumes Cardiff cycle hire following "staggering" vandalism and thefts
At the time, Nextbike – which employs around 17 people in the Welsh capital – hired a private investigation firm to help deal with the escalating vandalism, theft, and threats against staff.
One incident included an employee being urinated on, while another was threatened with a shovel as they tried to recover a bike. Instances of vandalism had also become more extreme since the scheme’s launch in 2018, with some bikes dumped in rivers and others set on fire.
Nextbike’s Jess Strangward said at the weekend: “It is sad that we have had to take the decision to close the Cardiff service as I know it was well used and liked by residents.
“Unfortunately, the rate of vandalism this year meant it was unfeasible for us to continue and offer a good service.”
Despite the widespread vandalism, Cardiff councillor Dan De’Ath told the BBC that the local authority was “optimistic” it could find a new bike share partner.
“The Cardiff and Vale cycle-hire scheme has, despite its challenges, been an immensely popular scheme with a significant number of users,” said De’Ath, the council’s cabinet member for transport, said.
“I want them to know that it is our intention to see a new cycle hire scheme return to the city as soon as possible.
“We now need to find a way, using the latest technology, which will make it harder for people intent on vandalising or stealing bikes to get away with their actions.”
Bronwen Brooks, cabinet member of Vale of Glamorgan council, also said she was “disappointed” that the “popular” scheme was being axed.
“The council will continue to operate the Brompton Bike hire system in Llantwit Major and is currently exploring options to replace the Nextbike scheme,” she said.
In an update to yesterday’s story on the close passing school coach driver – who nonchalantly told a cyclist that was “not really bothered” about killing someone on the roads during a confrontation – Royale European Coaches, the driver’s employer, has confirmed that he has been suspended amid a “full investigation”.
“We are aware of the incident and social media reporting, and have commenced a full investigation. The driver has been suspended pending these enquiries,” a spokesperson for the company told road.cc this morning said.
Ruth Cadbury, the Labour MP for Brentford and Isleworth, has stepped down as co-chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Cycling and Walking (APPGCW), after being appointed Shadow Justice Minister by Sir Keir Starmer.
A former policy advisor for Sustrans, Cadbury first joined the APPGCW upon being elected in 2015, becoming co-chair at the same time. Since then, she has overseen key reports launched by the group, including the 2023 Road Justice Report, and helped boost the attendance of events such as the annual parliamentary bike ride.
She will be replaced as co-chair by fellow Labour MP Fabian Hamilton, the group’s treasurer since 2015, while Selaine Saxby will continue in her role as co-chair.
“Being co-Chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Cycling and Walking has been a hugely important role to me as an MP,” Cadbury said today in a statement. “During my time, we have made some significant progress in enabling more people across the country to walk and cycle, but there is still a lot to do.
“Although I won’t be involved with the group, I will continue to be a vocal champion for active travel, and all the benefits that it brings.”
National Active Travel Commissioner Chris Boardman added: “Ruth has been a staunch advocate of Active Travel and during her time as Chair, she managed to make this a strong cross-party issue.
“We will miss Ruth’s authentic and passionate leadership of the APPG. I have no doubt she will remain committed to the lifelong mission of ensuring everyone has the right to travel under their own steam.”
With the number of people commenting “This is so satisfying” in the comments, I reckon we could be onto something here – the latest trend in bike-focused relaxation techniques perhaps?
Or maybe we’ll just stick to Froomey doing it the old-fashioned way:
If you spent the weekend watching the cyclocross at Val di Sole, daydreaming about your own world-class ability on the snow (if only you had the right tyres!), and missed the other goings-on around the cycling world – don’t worry because, as ever, we’ve got you covered with the weekend round-up…
> What’s the best way to watch live cycling following the closure of GCN+?
> “I like the action and riding fast”: Jonas Deichmann, marathon man, on his latest endurance epic
> This special Wilier 0 SLR Unico is an artistic ode to cycling and freedom