It's probably not top of the list of things we expected to read this morning, but it's up there. Yep, this is the 'news' that disgraced retired pro cyclist Lance Armstrong appears to have nibbled a little too hard at what we're assuming was a light-hearted social media post from controversial (and easily hateable) influencer-turned-boxer Jake Paul. Yes, you all have permission to skip straight to the next live blog item...
For those who can bear to read on, Jake Paul is... the former Disney Channel actor who now fights opponents of a questionable ability in the boxing ring, most recently beating 58-year-old Mike Tyson. Let's not spend too long here, but for further reading Paul has a quite lengthy 'Controversies and legal issues' section on Wikipedia.
Anyway, we've mentioned him before on road.cc because his girlfriend, Jutta Leerdam, has been part of Team Visma-Lease a Bike's speed skating set-up so, when she trains on the bike, has occasionally taken Paul with her. Cue much-ridiculed photos emerging on Instagram...
"Can get in the ring with Tyson, but can't clip in?" the top comment on one Facebook re-sharing of that. To be perfectly honest, we're happy to see anyone cycling, especially a major celebrity with an enormous following.
Paul went a little further and shared a video of him pedalling away on Instagram, taking the opportunity to tag a certain Lance Armstrong... "Lance Armstrong, I am coming," he yelled. "@lancearmstrong 1 v1 me," he wrote on the post. Now, as attention-seeking a figure as Paul is, that reads more like a joke, does it not? Obviously Paul would lose to Armstrong in any cycling event (a boxing bout is up for debate...), but the retired cyclist couldn't help himself but aggressively snap back...
"Child, please. You've been looking for an a** whoopin'. You found your place."
To which Paul responded, "Somebody tell him how many old guys I beat". Looks like our fantasy hill climb is off the table and we're moving towards something more combative. As sad/depressing/grim/*insert other horrified adjectives here* as it is, an Armstrong vs Paul boxing match would probably be the most publicity cycling (or more accurately, a disgraced former cyclist) has ever had.
Right, on with the readable stuff...